Yeah, I’ve said it before… you can’t go wrong buying your family and friends a gift for their smartphone. And really, you can’t... well, unless you count number six below. Where you can go wrong is buying a stupid gift under the “smartphone gift” category with the gift being a non functional POS. Am I confusing you? Well, let me spell out what not to buy. Unless, the person you’re buying for is extremely eclectic, weird or something similar. Here’s what not to buy smartphone users:
1. BlackBerry Stress Ball
I’ve been under extreme stress when on the phone with certain idiots. I am typically a very calm person, but some people or customer service rep will at times, make my blood boil. I have a very bad habit of tightening my hand around my beloved BlackBerry…. to the point where I’ve heard the housing creak. Not good. Ok, so now imagine me actually using a BlackBerry Stress Ball. I take out stress on the stress ball and sure enough, the next bad call I’m on, I will probably crack my real BlackBerry housing. If you want to buy a stress ball, I do not recommend it resemble your smartphone in any way, shape or form.
2. Smartphone Earrings
Seriously? Who would want to wear these things? Not only are they ugly… they’re just plain stupid. I have lots of earrings. But I draw the line at wearing smartphones, animals, insects, or any other weird thing. Just give me hoops, diamonds… you know, typical, ordinary earrings.
3. Smartphone Cozy
Wow. I don’t believe your smartphone could catch a chill without a cozy, even at the South Pole. Just searching for a signal, your phone generates its own warmth. Why on earth would you put a cozy on it? You’d be distracting from the beauty of it, so please, don’t use or buy someone a smartphone cozy.
4. BlackBerry for Dogs
Don’t enough dogs chew up our smartphones without having to get them a BlackBerry squeaky toy? I wonder how many people received replacement smartphones because their dog used it as a chew toy? I worked with a lady who didn’t have her new Palm Treo a week, before her dog took it off a table and marred it all up. Sure, get a dog a toy shaped like a smartphone and guess what? Your phone won’t last a week either. This is a very stupid gift idea.
5. Fake Phones
Why would anyone want to purchase a fake phone, unless you sold fake phones on ebay?
Would anyone walk around with a fake smartphone pretending to use it? Many real smartphones are pretty cheap these days, you don’t need a fake one.
6. Signal Booster
I have yet to meet anyone who swears by these things. I can only imagine they have a garbage rating if many sites give them away with the purchase of anything else.. If you must try one, then do so but I don’t recommend you give one as a gift. Doing so will show just how cheap you really are.
You will no doubt stumble across some of these as you’re online scouting the perfect smartphone accessory for you or someone you know. If you see any other gems, be sure to post a photo. I’m sure there are more brainy gift ideas out there that I missed.
While its not a smartphone related gift, I did see a beer holster while researching dumb gift ideas, but maybe we’ll save that for another forum. Although, now that I think of it, it might just come in handy so you have both hands free to text on your smartphone.
So get memory cards, awesome headphones, cases and apps. Whatever you do, just don’t buy the gift ideas pictured above for anyone you know.
Monday, May 30, 2011
BBM Contacts MIA?
Quick, how many of your BBM or other chat program contacts do you actually “chat” with at least every other day? I’m not talking about the people you SMS… those contacts already have your phone number, so they don’t count. I’m also not talking about those people you send and/or receive risqué photos. How many “virtual” friends do you have out there in smartphone-land?
I’ve often wondered what happens to some individuals you chat with on a daily basis. You know, the ones you meet through BBM sites or however else you meet these people. Do they have PingChat pin posting sites out there yet? These are the contacts you discuss sports, music and who knows what else with for days. You think you’ve actually found someone with similar interests and then poof! They’re gone. What happened to them? Did they forget to pay their cell phone bill? Did their spouse find out they’ve been texting a stranger? Did they die?
While I always have a good time poking fun at some of the idiotic things BBM users as well as other smartphone users do, this BBM edition will focus on a more serious note. Death or disappearance of a contact.
Over the past year, I’ve scaled down my BBM contact list significantly. Some of these contacts only sent the occasional mass-send joke, some wanted to chat way too much and some never really stayed in touch. Those that stayed on my list, I chat with on occasion. A few, I’ve actually swapped cell phone numbers with because we chat often, we stay in touch. We have definitely become friends and friends warrant a phone number swap. Another factor in swapping numbers is, what happens if one of us dies? If you have someone you’ve become friends with over time, wouldn’t you want to know if something happened to that person instead of running around the rest of your life with a complex? You’re left thinking, I thought we were buddies. What happened? Did they delete me by accident? Can’t be that. By now, those “buddies” probably have your email address anyway, but you never get an email either. Did you tick them off?
To save yourself a lifetime of complex worrying over nothing, take a couple minutes to review your contacts in your BBM or instant messaging app. Is there anyone there you consider a close friend? Someone you know that would never really delete you, you’re beyond that stage now. If so, I suggest you exchange phone numbers. Should you die unexpectedly or become hospitalized, someone will probably go through your contact phone numbers and start making calls. Unless of course you have password protected your device. In which case, your friends will now wonder what happened to you. You could always leave a note somewhere. You know, one of those notes that reads “in the event of my death or hospitalization”. Hey, if you are hospitalized and recover, you can always reset your password. You can also blame all the porn photos or adult chats on your buddy at work, who just happened to be using your smartphone… yeah, your spouse or significant other might believe that.
How did I ever get the idea to write an article about the death of a BBM contact? I sometimes wonder what happened to a contact of mine in Bahrain. We chatted once or twice a week on a regular basis. We always talked about music, coffee (he was a Starbucks fan) and his failure to understand why chicks loved Ugg boots. One day, he just vanished. He didn’t delete me, but none of my messages were getting through. Maybe his BlackBerry died. Maybe he lost all his contacts. I have a sister that has never backed up her BlackBerry contacts, so it is possible to lose all your contacts. Anyway, I was kind of sad. He was a lot of fun on BBM when we had nothing better to do. It just got me thinking, who else in my contact list would I be sad if they too disappeared?
So if you have a buddy or two that you’ve become friends with over time, swap numbers. No one said you ever had to call each other. I don’t even call my family very much. We are a major SMS family and if I don’t chat on the phone with them, I won’t be chatting with others on the phone either. The number is there, just in case of emergency.
I’ll be back soon with more light-hearted BBM related material after I recover a littler from hand surgery, scheduled in two days. While I should be able to use my laptop with a cast, it will look ridiculous if I’m sitting in Starbucks, elbow raised up in the air with my fingers pointed straight down at the keyboard, pushing the keys one at a time using one finger. Hey, you try typing with a cast on… it’s not easy, I’ve done it before. But then again, think of the fun you’d have reading an article that I wrote while on narcotics! I had a buddy of mine tell me that he knew when I was on heavy pain killers last year because I was slurring my text. That was the first time I ever heard slurring used in relation to SMS and I thought it was hysterical.
I’ll be sure to keep checking in while I’m recouping. Just remember to check your contacts. Make sure there isn’t someone important in there… someone above and beyond your typical BBM contact… someone you feel deserves a call, should something happen to you. One of these days, I’ll save a memo on my phone which will instruct someone in the family who to contact from my contact list. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.
I’ve often wondered what happens to some individuals you chat with on a daily basis. You know, the ones you meet through BBM sites or however else you meet these people. Do they have PingChat pin posting sites out there yet? These are the contacts you discuss sports, music and who knows what else with for days. You think you’ve actually found someone with similar interests and then poof! They’re gone. What happened to them? Did they forget to pay their cell phone bill? Did their spouse find out they’ve been texting a stranger? Did they die?
While I always have a good time poking fun at some of the idiotic things BBM users as well as other smartphone users do, this BBM edition will focus on a more serious note. Death or disappearance of a contact.
Over the past year, I’ve scaled down my BBM contact list significantly. Some of these contacts only sent the occasional mass-send joke, some wanted to chat way too much and some never really stayed in touch. Those that stayed on my list, I chat with on occasion. A few, I’ve actually swapped cell phone numbers with because we chat often, we stay in touch. We have definitely become friends and friends warrant a phone number swap. Another factor in swapping numbers is, what happens if one of us dies? If you have someone you’ve become friends with over time, wouldn’t you want to know if something happened to that person instead of running around the rest of your life with a complex? You’re left thinking, I thought we were buddies. What happened? Did they delete me by accident? Can’t be that. By now, those “buddies” probably have your email address anyway, but you never get an email either. Did you tick them off?
To save yourself a lifetime of complex worrying over nothing, take a couple minutes to review your contacts in your BBM or instant messaging app. Is there anyone there you consider a close friend? Someone you know that would never really delete you, you’re beyond that stage now. If so, I suggest you exchange phone numbers. Should you die unexpectedly or become hospitalized, someone will probably go through your contact phone numbers and start making calls. Unless of course you have password protected your device. In which case, your friends will now wonder what happened to you. You could always leave a note somewhere. You know, one of those notes that reads “in the event of my death or hospitalization”. Hey, if you are hospitalized and recover, you can always reset your password. You can also blame all the porn photos or adult chats on your buddy at work, who just happened to be using your smartphone… yeah, your spouse or significant other might believe that.
How did I ever get the idea to write an article about the death of a BBM contact? I sometimes wonder what happened to a contact of mine in Bahrain. We chatted once or twice a week on a regular basis. We always talked about music, coffee (he was a Starbucks fan) and his failure to understand why chicks loved Ugg boots. One day, he just vanished. He didn’t delete me, but none of my messages were getting through. Maybe his BlackBerry died. Maybe he lost all his contacts. I have a sister that has never backed up her BlackBerry contacts, so it is possible to lose all your contacts. Anyway, I was kind of sad. He was a lot of fun on BBM when we had nothing better to do. It just got me thinking, who else in my contact list would I be sad if they too disappeared?
So if you have a buddy or two that you’ve become friends with over time, swap numbers. No one said you ever had to call each other. I don’t even call my family very much. We are a major SMS family and if I don’t chat on the phone with them, I won’t be chatting with others on the phone either. The number is there, just in case of emergency.
I’ll be back soon with more light-hearted BBM related material after I recover a littler from hand surgery, scheduled in two days. While I should be able to use my laptop with a cast, it will look ridiculous if I’m sitting in Starbucks, elbow raised up in the air with my fingers pointed straight down at the keyboard, pushing the keys one at a time using one finger. Hey, you try typing with a cast on… it’s not easy, I’ve done it before. But then again, think of the fun you’d have reading an article that I wrote while on narcotics! I had a buddy of mine tell me that he knew when I was on heavy pain killers last year because I was slurring my text. That was the first time I ever heard slurring used in relation to SMS and I thought it was hysterical.
I’ll be sure to keep checking in while I’m recouping. Just remember to check your contacts. Make sure there isn’t someone important in there… someone above and beyond your typical BBM contact… someone you feel deserves a call, should something happen to you. One of these days, I’ll save a memo on my phone which will instruct someone in the family who to contact from my contact list. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.
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