Chat Groups - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Here's another article I did over a Dcom a while back.  I'll share it now, even though chat groups rule the mobile world now

Can we all say chat group? You can as long as you’re using the same app as the rest of your group, that is. Many of the other staff members I work with at other writing sites use PingChat, because we use any and all smart phones and sometimes, we feel the need to chat. Hey, we are the mobile revolution! Other apps to consider are Google+ Huddle, Facebook Messenger, GroupMe and WhatsApp.

There are plenty of multi-platform texting apps out there that allow BlackBerry users to converse with Android users and Android and BlackBerry users to converse with iPhone users. Many of these apps also offer a group chat feature. I’m sure most of you have participated in group chats. They’ve been around forever on the internet and these apps merely make it pocket-sized and mobile. Some apps limit the number of contacts within a chat group. Once you reach the maximum participants… that’s it, no more newbies.

I can say first hand that a group of more than 20 is very tough to keep up with if the group is a very active or rowdy bunch. Back when I used BlackBerry Messenger chat groups with other BlackBerry website staff members, it was sometimes tough keeping up with 10 members when they all converse, or er… text simultaneously. Make a few of those contacts natural born comediennes and well, you’ve got your hands full… literally. A seasoned texter has a tough time moving their thumbs fast enough.

Several members of a BBM group I belonged to were notorious for taking hilarious jabs at one another. When this happens around me, I can’t help but get involved. I can roll with the best of them. There were many times when we were all in tears from laughing hysterically at our BlackBerries. Now tell me, how does that look to commuters on a train or others in a study hall or library? Outsiders probably thought we were complete idiots, laughing hysterically at our phones. The trouble with large groups is that once a joke is out there, 10 - 15 people then respond… and the antics may never end. By the time you get your politically-correct response typed and hit the return key, the joke is probably long lost in a slew of one-liners from other chat members. You have to be a speed reader to take most of it in.

You will probably want to turn off your notifications at night or whenever your normal sleep and work hours may be. If you belong to a hyper or highly chatty group, you’ll need a little peace and quiet from time to time. Given that many chat groups include people spanning the globe, the running conversations can stay pretty active around the clock.

If you’re not part of an active chat group, I highly recommend it. Mobile chat groups should be on the rise soon thanks to multi-platform apps. Where you typically saw only BBM groups and pin posting sites online for years, they should soon give way to multi-platform mobile groups. I would imagine there will soon be a chat group for anything you can think of. I have a pretty vast imagination and I am still a bit surprised by a few of the BBM groups out there.

I have been fortunate to have been part of chat groups where I already knew some, if not most of the members. I found it easier to be at ease and joke around with members that I was already familiar with. Some chat groups can be informative, others complete fun and jest and still others are created purely as “pick-up” groups, where you can meet and potentially hook up with other chat members.

Now, let’s cover a little chat group etiquette, shall we? Where would some of you be if I didn’t coach you on texting and profile etiquette, huh?

1. Don’t send personal contact invites to individual group members, thus adding participants to your personal contact list without first getting to know the person a little better first. This really needs to be a written law in the group chat world. I think it’s completely un-cool and in bad taste to send requests to other chat members in the group if you or the person you’re sending the request to have never even chatted... unless you’re in a group completely devoted to no-strings-attached hookups. I’ve left chat groups in the past for this very reason.

Here’s how it usually goes down… I get invited to a group by a friend of mine or contact. I accept the group chat notification and join the group. I sit back and watch. I like to see what kind of members are part of said group. In one group in particular, I never got the chance to say hello or introduce myself but within 2 days, I had personal contact invites from several members of the group. I don’t know these people personally; they don’t know me… unless of course they’re staff members from a site I work at. But seriously, I don’t know every staff member personally. I prefer to get to know people a bit, before I add them to my personal contacts. Just being the curious fool I am though, I accept a few of the personal contact invites. Hey, I can always delete them, right?

One person I ignored kept sending me invites anyway, but that certainly wasn’t the first time that’s happened. One of the group members I accepted as a personal contact kicked off the convo with a simple Hi, then proceeded to ask about my thoughts while my profile picture was being taken. Next up was my name… Kalyhan... a curious spelling indeed. Well, that's because its my username...you idiot!  Who names their child Kalyhan? As with any chat/text application, can’t people just have normal adult conversations? If I just accepted you as a personal contact… maybe we could talk about the group we’re a part of? If you want a dating chat group… look online. I am sure you will find a few.

Think of it this way, how much luck would you have walking into a club and the first thing you do is ask for someone’s phone number? Not much, I’d venture to say. You could be the coolest person in the world or a complete psychotic. I don’t need any more psychotics in my contact list. My guess is that you will have much better luck scoring a person’s phone number if you meet, chat a while, find some common interests… if you hit it off well, then sure, you’ll probably get that phone number. The same rule should apply to chat groups. Especially when some of those chat groups are not dating and hookup related. Seriously, asking to be a contact with a member of a techie group when neither of you have even said Hi? As if that’s not bad enough, don’t let the first things to fly from your qwerty keyboard be about my hair, photo or name. It doesn’t speak highly of you, the techie group you are a part of and will probably get you deleted from my contact list. If you’re looking for bubble-headed conversations… don’t join techie groups. Try the party groups or something.

2. Although its not a written law, it is advisable to not let “LOL”, “LMAO” and “ROFL” be your primary utterance in a chat group. Get involved in the conversation or jokes… participate!

3. Until you know your group members better, use caution when throwing stuff out there. What you perceive as humor can be highly offensive or abrasive to others. Be funny, be informative, just choose your words wisely until you know who’s sitting on that couch, ten-thousand miles away.

4. Finally, don’t use your group to post broadcast spam messages and jokes. This too is very un-cool. Again, what you think is funny, may be offensive to others. Honestly, the masses hate broadcast messages anyway… therefore for the love of smart phones, stop sending them.

If you can get around those with no manners and refuse to adopt them, then join a few chat groups if you haven’t already. You could very well meet some new long term friends that you share common interests with. The brand of your smart phone is no longer an issue with many apps today. iPhones can intermingle with BlackBerries and Androids in a like-minded, zen sort of way, without ever having to prove who has the best smart phone and you can work those thumbs to the bone if you like.

Just remember… don’t walk into a chat group and immediately start asking for numbers. That is so rude! If by chance you have stumbled upon some cool chat groups, post a comment to this article and let us know!