BBM Flirt

Anybody that has known me for a little while, knows I have a lot to say about BlackBerry Messenger. Don’t get me wrong, I love BBM. I can’t fathom life without it. I’ve met some fabulous people on it. A select few, I’ve even given my cell number to. It’s a great messaging tool that is very safe, provided you take precautions.

In what might be a continuing series of BBM related articles for who knows how long, we’ll dub this issue number two. The first in the series is posted here http://driphter.com/index.php?topic=3612.0 . As long as RIM and BBM people around the world give me material in which to work with, this could go on for a while.

RIM’s latest campaign is BBM Flirt and I will admit, BlackBerry Messenger is a great tool for flirting. What other smartphone tool can you use so openly, yet you remain so protected by a pin? I wish I had a BlackBerry the last time I got asked for my phone number in a nightclub. I would have loved to have said, “Sorry, I only use a pin or barcode.” If I got so much as a “Huh?” for a response, then I’d know right off the bat that the guy was probably not on a similar intelligence level as me. Sorry, that probably sounded mean, but… oh never mind, if you were nearby in the club at that time, you’d understand.

BBM is a great way to “meet” others. If everyone were honest, you soon learn whether or not you have any true interests without actually jeopardizing your safety. Think about it. You exchange pins and you begin “chatting” away. The other contact hasn’t a clue where you live, unless you tell them or you display your location in your profile. They don’t have your phone number either, unless you give it out. Most of the profiles and accounts I have online always show my location as “everywhere”. There’s a reason for that. I don’t want everybody knowing where I live. This is why I’m not a big fan of all the social apps that target your GPS coordinates. I refuse to use them. Not everybody in the world needs to know where I am.

Just because someone’s wielding a BlackBerry, doesn’t necessarily make them an intelligent, upstanding citizen either. Given a few strange encounters with a couple of BBM contacts in the past, I’m hesitant to give out even the state in which I live. One of those encounters included someone in my first twenty accepted contacts. I learned this person lived only a few towns away. Because I was still a little “green” in the BBM experience, I saw no harm saying what area I lived in, though I had the smarts not to mention my town. Giving your address to someone you meet through BBM should be a big No-No to everyone out there unless you’ve known the contact for a while.

As I’ve experienced, some people turn obsessive. It doesn’t matter if they are married and have kids… they become obsessed with some, maybe even all of their contacts. I actually feared driving through this particular contact’s town. I was afraid they would recognize me. There came a point where I feared for the safety of this contact’s family. How do you report a BBM contact to the police? I’ve heard pins are traceable by some, and not traceable by others. I seriously thought this contact would off their family… just so “we could be together”. That’s kind of how the conversations went before I deleted the person from my contacts. I was literally afraid this person would find me. It scared me enough that I still don’t drive through that particular town. Others I’ve chatted with seem to be willing to drop everything and move cross-country because they think we will make a great match. Really? Who would do that after a week or so of BBM chat? Some people are taking the BBM Flirt too seriously. Stop it!

Flirt if you’re going to use BBM to flirt. But don’t make long term commitments based on a few days of chatting. Most of you are supposed to be adults out there. Like any other dating service, get to know each other, meet in a very populated area (I recommend a few times).

And don’t forget that handy little feature on BBM called delete and ignore, if things don’t work out. Delete and ignore might just be the next great tool in the flirting arsenal. You no longer have to give out fake phone numbers to people trying to pick you up. Share your pin, you can always delete them in a couple of hours with little to no regret.

If you are the type that commonly give out your phone number and location, you’ve either never had a BBM stalker or you lack common sense. If you are guilty of this, please stop right now. It only takes once for something bad to happen. The BlackBerry community doesn’t need to lose members and we’d hate to see your photo on the 11:00 news. Use a little common sense. If you just exchange only pins, you should be safe to flirt all you want.

Originally published 02/24/2011 at www.Driphter.com.